Help me

Who should I choose... or should I not choose at all...

The guy who makes me heart beat so fast I'm not sure I'm breathing anymore... He makes me think and want to be something good. I want him so bad.. but could I love him? He's my friends ex and my ex's friend... Worth a risk? We have so much in common... like music and writing and running away to a farm and living away from drama... and... being afraid of certain things.

The guy who is always there for me but there's something about him that I just don't like, I can't figure it out though... He talks to me... and helps me through some rough patches and listens to me cry without calling me names... and when I say no... he knows not to proceed. But I feel like there's something not right when we're together.

The one I thought I was going to marry.. He makes me miserable sometimes because he forgets about me. And it drives me mental daily.... I want him to love me like he use to.... like he saays he does...

I want them all in one guy.... does it sound difficult? I don't mean to be picky but what else can I have that'll satify me the way the all do in different ways.